Friday, December 14, 2007

To give or not to give... a gift

When I was little, I remember that every year around new year, the national day of teachers and mothers' day the parents' representative of our class was gathering money from our parents to buy gifts to our teacher(s). I remember how irritated our parents were every time they were asked for money. Since we are two sisters, of course, my parents had to pay twice for each occasion. I thought this was something done only in Turkey. God, how wrong I was.. When our daughter began attending daycare, I learned that the same tradition existed also here in Italy. The amount that was asked increased when we changed schools and my daughter began the kindergarten. This year she is in elementary school and we pay even more! I wonder where this thing will lead us to... And you should hear about the presents the parents' representative has got for two of the teachers (thank God that she bought gifts only for two teachers and not all the others). This year the primary teacher is getting a Gucci foulard, and her assistant will get a Gucci silver bracelet. I have never bought any Gucci stuff for myself... Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Gucci, or Prada, or all the other designer stuff. The thing that disturbs me is the extravagance in the gifts. What happened to the good old modesty?

Oh, my son is in daycare by the way, and we never had a parents-teachers meeting for his class, so we do not have a class representative there. Yet, someone has taken the initiative (as always is the case) and has sent out notes to us parents, asking for money to buy gifts for the teachers :-) We have already left the asked amount at the school's secretary since we have no idea who the initiative taker is, and what kind of presents she has in mind....

Do you buy gifts to the teachers of your child? Do you think it is necessary? For me, they are doing their jobs, and are getting paid for that (in our case, getting well paid I presume, since it is a little private school). I do not see why I am forced (not literally, but, hey, the pressure is there; if every other parent has paid, you are also expected to pay) to give/contribute to a present if I really don't feel like it....

11 comments:

müzi said...

bence hos bir davranis degil, cunku dedigin gibi, aslinda aileye gorunmez bir sekilde baski yapiliyor, para verin de hediye alalim diye, bir cesit emrivaki, ve emrivaki oldugu icin hos degil. bir de ben sinif temsilciligi kavramindan da hoslanmiyorum. bizim zamanimizda yoktu, ama diger kisilerin deneyimlerinden duyuyorum da bu sinif temsilcilerinin kendilerini ogretmen zannettigi zamanlar olabiliyor. ve sanki cocuklar icin degil de, asil buyuklerin olaya karisabilmesi icinmis gibi geliyor bu sinif temsilciligi. dedigim gibi, okulumuzda yoktu, ve simdi dusunuyorum da eksikligini de duymamisiz.

Anonymous said...

In my girls school, teachers are not allow to accept any presents from the parents/students.

Last year end of the year term, as PSG group we have collected money and made a T-shirt with all class students hand prints and administration department were aware of it:))

Esra said...

ben de hic sevmedim bu "mecburi" hediye isini. Cok sacma geliyor bana da. Defne daha kucuk, burada uygulama nasil henuz bilmiyorum. Gorucez...
umarim Turkiye'deki gibi degildir.

B5 said...

Hmmm, Gucci what?

I think it depends on the school. My schools were Italian and teachers got only wild violets from my mother, that's all... :)
I agree with you when you say: "They get paid and that must be enough..."

I guess it must be more difficult for you, cause I do not have a child. And I can not easily understand the concept of how to build a smooth relationship between teacher and parent... Hmmm..

Yasemin said...

müzi ve archisugar, evet isin 'mecburiyet' kismi cok sinir bozucu zaten. Bir de ben boyle ogretmenlere hediye verince sanki onlara 'bak sana hediye veriyorum, aman benim cocugumun yaramazliklarini falan hosgoruver' diyormus gibi hissediyorum ve hic hosuma gitmiyor. Ha, ogretmenle samimiyetim vardir, cocugum problemli bir cocuktur ve ogretmen normalden fazla ilgi gostermek durumunda kalmistir, minnettarlik hissiyle icimden geldigi icin birseyler vermek isterim o ayri konu. Ama benim oyle bir durumum yok ki.

Bir de hem Turkiye'de hem de burada dikkatimi ceken bir durum var: bu veli temsilcileri genelde sorunlu cocuklarin velileri oluyorlar. Kardesimin ilkokuldaki veli temsilcisi boyle bir kizin annesiydi. Ayni sekilde kizimin sinifindaki temsilci de erkek Fatma, yaramaz ve oldukca simarik, derste yerinde duramayan bir kizin annesi... Sanki kadincagiz yaptigi bu isler, hediyelerle okula ve ogretmenlere yaranmaya calisiyormus gibi..

Yasemin said...

mirdifderya, I like the idea that the teachers are not allowed to accept gifts from the parents/students ;-)

B5, this is also an Italian school, remember ;-) And 95% of the parents are Italians... For me, it is another proof for the fact that Turks and Italians are quite alike :-)

B5 said...

Öyle öyle, biliyorum. Okuluna göre degisir demek istemistim...
Ve hediye vermede de senin gibi hissedecegimi dusunuyorum ben de..

Fulya said...

Yasemin, burda da herkes hediye veriyor. Ben bu sene ama sadece ogretmene degil de tum cocuklara da hediye aldim 16 kisiler. kucucuk bir hediye kiz dagitsin diye. cocuklar sevinsin istedim. Birde benim kizim Hannah diye bir kizdan hediye aldi kucucuk birsey ve yine Hannah'ya hediye vermek istedi. Bir kisiye hediye vermek olur mu? olmaz. Hepsine santali boyama kitabi alip paketledik.Icine de kucuk santa kalem ve silgi koyduk toplam masrafimiz 20 dolari gecmedi.
Hediye gerekli degil ama abartmadikca kucucuk birseyler vermek hem zevkli hemde cocuk icin faydali cunku bizim cocuklar da hep almayi biliyorlar vermeyi degil. dayatmalari bende sevmiyorum.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year!!!

müzi said...

sen hala donmedin mi? :)

Yasemin said...

Muzicim, dondum canim, dondum de hatta bugun blogspota Kanada'da cektigim fotolari upload ettim, bir elim vardiginda yazimi da yazicam. Bu hafta icinde yazarim sanirim. Senin Oslo raporunu takip ediyorum ;-)